508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
