So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
