my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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