dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
