I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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