I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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