I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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