Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
