We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
