Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
