It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
