I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Porn is love you can see.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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