you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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