i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
