I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
