This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
