I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
