In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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