u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
