White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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