just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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