Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
