What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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