im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
