I could make wine with my vomit
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
