I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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