So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
