thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
