OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
