Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
