im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
