Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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