You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
