Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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