lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
