if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
