Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
