I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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