My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
