Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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