that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
why do cheetos always look like penises
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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