Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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