I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
