thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
