you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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