Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
