Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
