Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
