So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
