come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
